Results of the Pregnancy Test

A dear friend sent me a CD with the following song on it soon after we had found out that we miscarried our babies in December. This song has become very dear to me, and again fits the situation that we find ourselves in at this time:

For My Good and For His Glory
words by Rebecca J. Peck

I must admit that I don't understand
why God would let me face this painful circumstance
All I have to cling to is His word and His name
But that's enough, so I will trust

It's for my good and for His glory,
This trial's not the end of the story
There's a bigger picture God alone can see
Faith will take me through this sorrow,
For I know He holds tomorrow,
And He assures me
It's for my good, and for His glory.

Because I love the Lord He's promised me
To work all things for good, through tears I still believe
That His ways are higher than any of my own -
Though my heart aches, He makes no mistakes.

It's for my good and for His glory,
This trial's not the end of the story
There's a bigger picture God alone can see
Faith will take me through this sorrow,
For I know He holds tomorrow,
And He assures me
It's for my good, and for His glory.


Again, I am sorry to send a mass, impersonal e-mail (or blog post!) like this, but it would take me forever to type e-mails to each one of you that have prayed for us through this in vitro fertilization cycle. We are SO disappointed to have to tell you that our pregnancy test and bloodwork both came back today - NEGATIVE. For whatever reason, God has chosen NOT to give us a baby to hold through this process. As the lyrics of the song indicate, this is very painful for us, and our hearts ache... but we also know that God can see the bigger picture and has a REASON that He has chosen not to give us the desire of our hearts at this time. We are thankful, though, that we now have 9 babies up in Heaven waiting to meet us when we get there. Though we would LOVE to have them HERE, they are so blessed to not have had to live through the trials of this life, but to go directly to an eternity in the presence of the Lord Jesus Christ.

I'm sure many of you will wonder what we do from here... and we have no answer for that at this time. We believe that had God wanted to give us a baby through the IVF process, He would have done it in these 3 tries. So, unless the Lord gives us a HUGE sign that He wants us to go through that again, we do not plan on that. (Not to mention, it is expensive and emotionally draining!) At least we can now look back and not have regrets at not having tried that option when it was available to us. A couple of people, even today, have asked us about adoption. At this point, we do not have any peace about pursuing adoption. Of course, God may just choose to give us a baby on His own... I mean, if He can make a virgin conceive, NOTHING is IMPOSSIBLE with Him, right?!?!? :-) (I don't mean to be sacriligous, just finding a little humor there!)

So - all that to say, I guess we would just ask you all to please continue to keep us in your prayers. Pray for wisdom for both of us as we seek God's will concerning our family. Although we know that God's grace is sufficient, please pray for God's hand of grace and comfort to rest on us. Pray that we are able to truly trust God for His will in our lives. It is far too easy to do "lip-service" and pretend that we are OK, but the words not getting through to our hearts. Also, please pray that we will continue to grow closer to God and each other. Again, we cannot thank you all enough for all of your prayers on our behalf. They mean so much to us, and we often are overwelmed at the love, care, and support you have shown to us through this difficult time.

We pray that someday we may be able to share with you that our family has grown... though how that will happen we are just waiting on the Lord to show us!

We appreciate you all so much. Thank you for your prayers.

Serving Christ,
Chris & Heather Beth
Ps. 91:1, Lam. 3:22-23